Encore

I think every blog that comes to a screeching halt deserves an encore.  Strange to think that one day I was loving the feeling I got as my fingers raced around the keyboard, spilling my guts to complete strangers (friends and family too I guess;) - getting excited every time I clicked publish... and then one day, it stopped.

I'll tell you one thing though-

It hasn't.  Not really.  My mind still races with ideas, and crafts, and experiences from my past that conjure something up inside me that needs to be told.  Naturally, I still think my life is something worth recording. The happiness I get when my family loudly sings and dances in the car together, the way my - almost one year old- DAUGHTER looks at me with her big brown eyes, and how my boys strip naked practically every day and splash each other with the hose in the backyard... those are things I never want to forget.

I do know I will always be my own little writer in my own world though because that's something I've always loved.  My journal has never seen so much of me the the last year+... whatever it's been now since I said "bye" here.  And while I think I've been more descriptive than I would've been here, it's missing those great pictures, & the connections my blog posts would create.  It's safe to say this space still means a lot to me- but I see that my life has just taken a completely different course over the many months away.  I'm happy with how things have gone for me and my family... but that doesn't mean I'm not still needing a small connection with the outside world.  The world outside my small church ward, instagram, or small circle of friends.

Earlier this month an old-time blog friend contacted me about updating her blog design.  Oh yeah.  I used to do that... I doubt I remember how, was all that came to mind.  But, I decided to give it a whirl since the summer creates more down time for me.  Turns out, I still enjoy it!- and I haven't forgotten a thing.  And when it's something I can do on my own schedule, it works for my life with little ones.

So that's my big final encore.... my last comeback-post-of-the-century that probably two people will even ever even come across, anyway.  All to say: I'm doing custom blog design for those that are interested, as my schedule permits.  Even if all you want is a cute header, I'm offering everything separately.  WAHOO!!!  THIS IS NEWS!  (I'm still the facetious weirdo I always was, yes.)  My family blogging days are pretty much long-gone from where I'm sitting now- I don't see that changing- but I do want to connect this other way and do something I think is fun.

While I'm here though a small update wouldn't hurt.  Kinda crazy that the last time I wrote I was about as far along with my baby girl as I am now with my next bundle of joy.  My husband and I are incredibly elated even though the first comment from people after "ohh... exciting." is, "was it planned?"  Ha ha!  Yes, indeed.  Indeed it was.  We bought a house and I'm still taking pictures, always.  LIFE IS GREAT!  I hope you're living yours up too because life is a precious, fleeting thing.

That's all, folks.

"life moves pretty fast.  If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you might miss it." 

(yes I went there, quoting the great Ferris Beuhler)

Lately (and by lately I mean almost as soon as I clicked "create blog"), I've questioned if this is something I wanted to devote even a little bit of time to.  I do like it- most of the time I love it.  You guys, those who read and respond, have given me reason week upon week to keep writing.  It's fun to hear from people!  Naturally.  But from time to time over these years I'd still question and wonder if I should keep going... as you can tell they always resulted in the same thing: keep going.  Keep blogging about life- share a lot about what I think, feel, and do each day.  Put yourself out there.

...but even more lately something changed.  I realized that for too long I've questioned this space.  I'm not sure that it's everything I want it to be.  I'm not sure it's improved my life all that much- maybe it's done the opposite, in some ways.  I'm looking for improvement.  I've reached a point in my life where there's not much extra of me to go around.  So something has to go.  Right now, I don't have the desire to do this.  I have just too much ahead of me that is demanding my attention.  I have decided to clear my life of the demands that blogging brings me and I want to see all that I can accomplish without it.  I really feel good about this decision.

Obviously, this wasn't easy for me though.  I've met so many wonderful friends through this- I've had so many opportunities, I've expanded my creativity and so on and on and on...
I really have loved blogging- and to be frank, I've loved having people read it too.  I've loved hearing from you, and having support from time to time when I needed it.  I've enjoyed those connections more than any of the other perks blogging has brought me.  But I can't do this forever, and I know I don't want to.

I've decided to share bits and pieces of my personal life from time to time on my photography blog, and I will still be on instagram (connieraeb).  If I take some great vacation or party photos I'll put them up on my photography site.  I still want to share photos on occasion that mean a lot to me, or that I love that I'd otherwise put here.  I don't want to be completely shut out, I'm just privatizing my life more drastically now.

Thanks for everything friends and readers, I've loved sharing bits and pieces of my life with you over the years.  I wish you all the best.  I've enjoyed blogging but I'm so excited to free my to-do list a little bit and focus on what matters most.

11 things

The lovely Oana Befort, all the way from Romania, tagged me for this 11 random things post. I was happy she did, I've seen this out for a while and it always looked fun.
{1. Post these rules 2. Post a photo of yourself and 11 random things 3. Answer the questions set for you in the original post 4. Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them 5. Go to their blog/twitter and tell them you've tagged them.}

(This was me yesterday)

.... ha!  More like, this was me ten pounds ago.  Baha. 

11 random things:
1. I have horrible hearing.  It can be embarrassing at times since I don't always fess up when I don't hear something someone says.  It can be hard to pretend I know what they are talking about.  ha ha!  I mean, I never do that.
2. I do whatever I can to keep there from being a lull or silence during conversation.  Ultimately this leads to me talking more than I want to and saying more than I wish I did.  What can ya do.
3. Reading puts me to sleep.  Rarely, when I find a good book I can read chapter after chapter- but for the most part, throughout my life it just makes me nod off.
4. I was named after all men.  My grandpa named Conrad and grandpa named Ray.  Hence: Connie Rae.
5. When I ran the Baltimore Half Marathon I didn't stop running ONCE!  My motivation?  Thinking about 'ol long beard Forrest Gump.  Seriously.
6. I always wished I did dance growing up.  I did ballet as a kid and then stopped and tried it again in college.  Unfortunately I missed my mark... although I think I could've been really good at it.  The world may never know.
7. I've played the piano since I could reach the keys and I took lessons from the time I was 8 to my senior year in high school.  I got a scholarship, even.  I miss playing like I used to.
8.  I used to be really shy.  It comes out of me now and then but for the most part I can't believe that word ever described me.  I'm glad I grew out of it.
9.  When I was in high school I ran track.  Out of no where my coach and I discovered I had a talent for the hurdles.  My coach loved my form and wanted me to show the "kids" how it's done.  My first attempt I fell on my face.  What else?
10. I'm a klutz.  It's not so much that I'm a klutz though, I think, that I just scurry around too much and am not careful.  I usually get a cut, burn or bruise myself a few times a week because of it.
11. I got blonde highlights for the first time in 2009 and since then haven't really found my true natural color.  My natural is suuuper dark and most people say it's black.

11 questions answered: 
(oops on 1-4 I started answering the ones she did, not the ones she asked me, oh well.)
1.Describe your perfect day, who would be there?
A full day at Disneyland with kids who were able actually do stuff & have a blast (not just sit in a stroller), cotton candy + that cute ice cream parlor on Main, handholding + smooching my husband throughout the day (and those random looks we give each other where we know we're both thinking, "wow, look at those amazing kids we made"), lunch or dinner at the Blue Bayou (the restaurant in the pirates ride- LOVE that place), and fireworks to finish.  Oh, and we would go on a weekday when it's slightly less chaotic and busy.  Although growing up in California I'm okay with the crowds for the most part.  That really would be a perfect day!  
2. If you could do one thing that would be felt worldwide, what would it be?
Honestly I would share my testimony of Jesus Christ.  I think so many people have tons of unanswered questions in their mind- or pain they cannot seem to get rid of alone- but because of Jesus Christ I have those answers and I've had that help.
3. What is your favorite book of all time?
The one I've read since I could read and the one that gets me through each day- The Book of Mormon.
4. If you could keep any wild animal as a pet what would it be?
I've always had a soft spot for Koalas.  I don't know much about them though- are they vicious?  haha!  They just look so cuddly and sweet.

5. What is your favorite season and why?

I always have said fall- I think because it's nice to feel like you're finally getting a break from the high temps- and the fall colors are so amazing.  But spring is spectacular (at least in some areas I've lived) and summer is fun too.  Oh nevermind I don't know.

6. What's the most interesting place you've ever traveled to?

Maybe it's a tie... this is hard, I've been to lots of places!  But I'm thinking Victoria, Canada and Plymouth, Massachusetts.  Victoria was INSANELY beautiful we stayed at this castle of a hotel.  It was fun and definitely new to go somewhere that uses different currency.  They were amazed when I pulled out american money.  And Plymouth was just so historic and charming- not to mention I had the best clam chowder of my life and will always remember how peaceful it was there.

7. What characteristics do you value most in your friends?

Being genuine.  I love the word because it pretty much sums up all those that I feel the closest to.  I can really tell those who are genuine and truly care about me- and those are my truest friendships. 

8. What word best describes your personality?

Fun...?  I don't know it's hard to describe ME in just one word.  But I love to laugh and have a good time so hopefully people think I'm fun.

9. How would you like to be remembered?

As everyone's friend.  Truly, I hate having enemies.  And honestly I don't "hate" anyone- I just know that some people aren't going to appreciate me like I wish they would.  So I think there are people who dislike me before they know me and I really wish that wasn't the case (but it will always be, for every person, I know.)  But truly... I want to leave this world knowing I was nice to everyone and for those who truly know me to feel my love for them.

10. What do you photograph the most?

What DON'T I photograph?  Um, well in looking at instagram, my family, trees, and food.  I guess.

11. What do you look forward to every day?

A couple things:  greeting my little ones in the morning.  They are so sweet and always so "huggy".  And after that, getting out of the house!  I love going on little car rides or drink dates with my boys.  I love it the most when Tony can go with us because 1, I don't like driving and 2, he's so much fun to be with.

11 questions asked:
1. Who do you most admire?
2. What's one food will you NOT eat?
3. What's something you love the most about yourself?
4. If you knew you had one day to live, what would you do?
5. Where is your favorite place to be?
6. What new years resolution have you already broken?
7. What moves your soul the most?
8. Why did you start blogging?
9. What's your most embarrassing moment?
10. What's one of your biggest fears?
11. If you could spend a day with anyone, past or present, who would it be? :)

I tag: you.

Our due date...

Wanna know something?  My first doctor's visit was on Monday!  Yes, it was torturing me not to hear the heartbeat or know everything was fine.  But at the same time, I knew everything was fine so I thought it would be okay to wait to see a doctor until we were in one spot.  But MAN was it hard!  Hearing the heartbeat, and finding out I'm healthy (minus the fact I need to drink more water) was a huge sigh of relief.

Other than that, my appointment went well and the baby sounds wonderful.  I love the heartbeat.  That heartbeat means LIFE!  And the fact that a new one is inside of me, is the coolest thing ever... it never gets old.  He or she had a heartbeat of 140-150bpm (according to my doctor), and he also said I'd be due August 24th!  I already knew that based off my own calculations (a pregnancy calculator test I did online) but I wanted to wait until I heard from the doctor until I spread it around.  My sonogram is scheduled!  I have to wait till I'm the full 20 weeks (I found out 2 weeks earlier than that with Hyrum and hoped I could squeeze in sooner but nope).  So four more weeks to go from this friday.

A little wind technical difficulties:

there we go!

Sorry about the slew of a million ME pictures... I couldn't decide on just two.  A white shirt on a white background wasn't the smartest to show off the belly.  I realized that after the fact so instead I'm giving you (really myself) a lot of different angles to work with so you can judge how huge (or little) I am.  Definitely showing more than I did with my first at this stage- I know my body is used to this now!

 I can't wait until we meet you, little baby!

and we're back.

Almost a year ago we left Arizona for what we thought was going to be a really long time. Luckily life had other plans and we are back, where we want to be. This is where I fell in love with Tony and have so many great memories. I don't think I have to say how much I love it here, everyone knows. We just got in Friday night but I'm already feeling very settled and very at home. We have awesome family and friends who have helped us with the move and made things so much easier. Life is going to be a little crazy for a bit but at least we're home.

(pictures were taken days before we left AZ, last march.)

That is not our art, I promise.  Fitting though, no?  C+T♥

So long, Kentucky.

Gotta love the i've-been-packing-all-day (scratch that) all MONTH look I've got going on.  

Also gotta love that 95% of our boxes are recycled diaper boxes I've saved all year just for the move.

Kentucky has been fun.  I learned a lot and grew as a person which is always good.  But I also just had good times and new experiences that I'll cherish.  But we're off!  And I'm very excited.  I don't know what's ahead, we are kinda just winging things now, but I'm excited.  Some of my favorite times here in Kentucky included picnics (like this one), making forts, visiting Churchill Downs, photo shoots in the gorgeous areas I stumbled across (and the series I did with Brody), actually having a fall that looked like fall, and the most gorgeous spring, not to mention some super fun holidays, parties, and feeling good I completed the year of these pictures with Hyrum.  There was so much more but speaking of so much more...
I've got some more work to do.  Thheeeen we're off.  Wish us luck!

hot & not: my weekend

I thought I'd share a few things that have made my weekend great!  And also... some things that were not-so-great (because it's funny).

hot:
::the Jose Villa LIKED a picture of mine on Instagram!!  He's only one of the most amazing photographers of our time.  I'm a huge fan.  He even said it was "beautiful!"  I didn't add that exclamation point either, that was all him.
::curling up on the couch with Tony and a taco bell soft taco for some Seinfeld late friday night.  We don't eat 2 dinners often, but sometimes it's fun to grab some late night junk. ha ha!
::NOT packing.  I'll probably regret it over the next two days before we leave but I needed a weekend off.
::I exchanged ONE thing at Target and was able to get four things instead.  Oh, the perks of the clearance rack.
::Oh that trip to Target?  I told Tony it was my "date with myself".  It was needed.  Although I did miss my boys by the time I got home.

not:
::I rushed home too quick from my afternoon-to-myself (since I missed my boys, of course) and forgot to buy peanut butter.  I had to drive back later because goodness knows we can't go a day (meal) without it. ha!
::Taco Bell got rid of my favorite chalupa!  What the devil?  Maybe I'll write them a letter (;
::missing a fun birthday party since both my boys are sick.
::both boys being sick.  Brody is a surprisingly low maintenance kid when he's sick but Hy is so whiney!  It wears you out by days-end, but I just feel bad for him.
::I turned on the wrong burner and burned our main course while our veggies sat cold.  Splendid.
::our heater BUSTING!  Our house got to 50 degrees last night (which compared to outside wasn't too bad); but it's so freezing in here!  It should get fixed sometime tomorrow.  A whole weekend without heat?  Not awesome.  (But thanks to my sweet friend Laura, we've had space heaters to use in our bedrooms!)

I hope you've had a great weekend!  Feel free to do a similar post and share (: