As a kid, I loved a Christmas movie that featured a “Santa Run,” and I thought about how fun it would be to do one myself. Decades later I spotted one in my town being advertised and signed up. The problem was, I hadn’t run in a long time due to knee and back pain. Still, I thought—this was just a 5k, not the half marathon I've done in the past, so it couldn’t hurt. My husband and I trained slowly. Meanwhile, I also pushed myself harder in the gym—heavier squats, working on the splits, and other fleeting pursuits.
It was November 2023, I felt stronger, but then pain started in my back and hip. I worried, but brushed it off, assuming time would heal it. Despite the pain, I ran the cheesily festive Santa Run in early December that year, hoping I’d bounce back. Instead, I grew worse. Christmas morning that year I remember sitting on the couch, smiling for my kids, but in more pain than ever - wondering when I would be back to normal.
As time went on, I felt a heavy weight on my shoulders that only increased. My responsibilities also increased at church and home and I wondered why it was all happening at once... how was I to accomplish anything with this chronic pain? Didn't I have more important things to do?
It didn't take long to go see an orthopedic doctor. An exam and X-rays pointed to a torn labrum and hip impingement, and he ordered an MRI to confirm. Even though I suspected he was right, I tossed aside the order, hoping eventual surgery wasn’t the answer. My back has given me issues for years, decades even. I tried rest, no rest, stretching, yoga, chiropractic care, several weeks of long and painful physical therapy, and multiple specialists. Doctors found degenerative disc disease in my spine and other health issues related to internal organs, which seemed to confirm my doubts. But after months and months of failed efforts and unrelenting pain focusing on my back, I had to be honest with myself: I hadn’t made progress and my pain wasn't going away.
In 2025, worn down and desperate, I finally got the MRI I had avoided almost two years earlier. The results confirmed I had torn labrums in both hips and other issues with my painful hip joint, and needed surgery. I felt relief—but still had doubts that this would fix my pain. If I had two torn labrums but only pain on one side, could this really be the fix? Nevertheless, I knew I had exhausted every other option. I had to trust my physician and his plan of action, I had no other choice. My doctor had been right all along and I didn't trust that.
This experience made me reflect on how often we think we know better than the Lord. I leaned on my own understanding, ignored the first clear answer, and spent too long in pain because of doubts. Proverbs 3:5–6 reminds us to trust in Him, not ourselves. Christ is the Master Physician. He already knows the true cause of our pain and the path to healing, we can trust Him. His prescription may be hard or unexpected, but it is always right. As my father in law put it, "He knows the beginning from the end and He knows and loves us deeply and wants us to grow in knowledge and patience."
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
In the end, surgery revealed more than anyone expected, and I was grateful I trusted the prompting to move forward. Likewise, the Savior patiently waits as we detour, never abandoning us. When we finally trust His plan, He receives us with open arms and makes us whole. He makes us better. He helps us grow.
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