So here's my big dilemma....
The dreamy, blessed epidural?
A screaming, sweaty natural delivery?
Some of you may wonder why the crap I'm even considering natural. I know. I've heard it all "WHY would you EVER go natural when we have the medicine and technology that we have these days!? Take advantage, woman!" Even I on this very blog, typed these words: "NO I don't want to EVER try this birthing thing naturally... I've felt those contractions and they are the devil! So yes... drugs please? And may they do their job." That was right after birthing Hyrum, my 2nd. Both my boys have come by way of the epidural. But there is still that part of me... that womanly urge to experience birth as it was intended... or at least, as so many woman have before. I hear there is nothing like it. That although you go through such exhausting pain that afterwards you are just so elated- so lifted- and there is nothing quite like that kind of relief. I'm sorry... but I feel like I'm missing out on something!!!! And I kinda want to know what that's like. Plus, I hear recovery is easier.
Maybe I'm not strong enough? Or maybe it's not all it's cracked up to be? (going natural)
My biggest worry... is that with EACH of my babies my contractions hit HARD and would hit about every 30 seconds to every minute. What if this were happening for 12 hours or more!? Each of my labors were 12 hours long (and I'm well aware it can be much MUCH longer than that). I really don't know if I can handle that. It scares me... it scares me to think I'm such a pansy I can't take something God designed my body to do- and it scares me that if I try, I will regret it! I hyperventilated when I was feeling contractions with my first labor... my body shut down on me since I wasn't breathing enough/right. Maybe there's too much to learn to prepare myself for a natural delivery and I won't be able to do it on my own? I'm not paying for a mid-wife or birthing coach. So does that mean I might as well forget it and get the drugs?
(pictures of Hyrum and I a few weeks ago. At least I know however my baby gets here, I'll still be extremely obsessed with them.)