Worst feeling ever

On Halloween night while playing the card game

 hand and foot with Tony's parents,

I told them the story of the first time I saw my ring.

Just in case they forgot.. cause I know they've heard it.

It just goes to show, 4+ years later I'm still giddy about it- it's one of my 

most prized possessions.  

Sure, it has monetary value but SERIOUS sentimental value.

What I love is Tony picked it out and bought it when we'd only been together

for just a couple months- those months being a long distance relationship, even..

I remember it clearly...

After he proposed, I couldn't see a darn thing.

We were up in the hills and it was pitch black

 so instead of try to make it out, I decided to wait till we got in the car.

He opened my door, I got in and sat for what felt like eternity with my other hand covering it....

I was SO giddy and something came over me, I couldn't wait anymore- I ripped off my hand and looked for the first time at the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen.  

I GASPED out loud and my jaw dropped and I couldn't stop smiling.  

Lucky for me, Tony saw the whole thing through the front windshield when he walked around the car.

He got in, we kissed and stuff and I'm pretty sure I teared up.

I apologized for not being able to wait to look at it with him there (I REALLY TRIED too!)

He didn't care, he was just happy I loved it and we were ENGAGED!

I lie not, I stare at that ring EVERY.DAY. 

It reminds me of so much we've been through,

and of all the years ahead. 

It's a tiny object that reminds me each day of how we came together

and keeps those old memories fresh in my mind.

I know it's just a thing but it matters to me so much.
Tony picked it out and customized it for ME.
It was all HIM and that's why I love it so much.

It's the best gift I've ever been given!

So.

Last night I made pizza- took it off- and left it on the counter

I made a literal mental note WHERE it was.  I usually don't do that.
I take it off so frequently since it has so many little places to get stuff stuck in it
So off it goes when I cook, apply lotion, carve pumpkins, shower, you name it.

I'm usually more of an airhead and "misplace it" easily, since I take it off a lot
...but I soon find it.

So you'd think the time I actually paid attention, It would be there.

Not this time...

We tore the house apart till 3:30am and since I got up it's all I've done.

It's GOT to be here but I can't help but think it's down a drain and out of my life forever.

And that is really the worst feeling ever-

I have to find it... I NEED to.

I'm sick of crying today...sorry to be a downer.