Monday, June 7, 2010

Rambling & a baby shower discussion..

So far in this pregnancy I've had the pleasure of enjoying:

Nausea/other sickness- check
headaches- check
nose bleeds- check
fatigue- check
water retention-check
soreness in various areas on my body- check
cravings- check (didn't have them w brody)
mood swings- check
random acne- check
flat hair- ch--- ok that might just be from this OK air.
(don't worry I'm in my 2nd trimester, most of this has all passed)

that's all I can think of right now.  With Brody, I only recall feeling nauseated ONCE and it was on my birthday eating a greasy burger at Red Robin.  As far as the other stuff, forgetaboutit.  All I did was cry a few times probably.

So for that reason I've kinda developed the idea I'm having a girl.  It's gotten to the point where I think I might be bummed to hear anything else.  For a couple reasons:
1. this pregnancy has been different so I've already been kinda expecting something different (like I said)
2. But mostly because we've had our future daughters name picked out since I found out I was pregnant with Brody.  The first name was all Tony's doing-which I instantly fell in love with- and the middle name goes back to when we were dating!  Sooooo.... I feel like I already kinda know her- AND I just want to use the name, already!

Besides, I have 3 full names picked out for our girls and I'm afraid I'll never get to use them all. haha.  But really.  The ONE and only boy name we have decided on took me about 3 years to warm up to.  I'm still not 100% in love with it but Tony really likes it- and Brody already says it (we've been asking him if we are having so-in-so or so-in-so.)  I don't really care for any other names so I'm happy Tony wants something, at least.
Discuss this pa-lease:
Anyway so in the event I do have a boy (I will be thrilled by the way- don't get me wrong) I've been pondering if I should have a baby shower or not.  I was sitting with some ladies and we were talking about it.  They were kinda ragging on people who have baby showers for each baby.  I even asked, "so if someone has a boy and they are having a boy again, you think them having a baby shower the 2nd time is milking people?"  (I really said milking people)  And she said YEP.  SO.  I have to ask... do you think having a baby shower for each baby is really a classic no-no??  I need opinions.  I have my OWN opinion which I'll share soon.. and which probably won't ever change... (and don't worry about which way you swing- It's not a super huge deal I just wanted to get a feel for what the general consensus is... from you guys anyway).
What do you think???

ps. some people were confused and thought I was going to make this blog private but I'm not going to!  Capiche!? (:  and... nothing will change about it.  Just sayin.

30 lovely comments:

Jamie said... Reply To This Comment

I hope you have a girl :) Not that boys aren't the absolute BEST b/c I adore mine but I know you would enjoy dressing her up! Plus I want to know her name already!

In my opinion, I think if you are having a 2nd baby and it's the same sex as the 1st, then you shouldn't have another baby shower UNLESS there is like 5 years or more between each child.
Ex. My sister had twins girls last year 9 years after her last two girls so of course she didn't have any of her stuff anymore so we threw her a shower.

If you're having a girl 2nd, I think it's totally fine!

Hope you're doing great!

cris (cristal) said... Reply To This Comment

so sorry youve been having it bad hope the pregnancy gets better. :) ur having a girl yeay ..

-cris

Marissa said... Reply To This Comment

I think only having a shower if it is a girl is the best idea. Hopefully you are having a girl :)

shirley elizabeth said... Reply To This Comment

The problem isn't having multiple baby showers. The problem is that lady. She doesn't go to showers to celebrate with and help out the family. She goes based on an obligation because she was invited.

We give baby gifts for two reasons: to celebrate with the family, and to assist as members of a family, community, congregation, etc. There are some people, like grandmas or favorite aunts, that will always give gifts, no matter which baby it is (or which birthday. Does the lady think it's milking it to throw the kid a birthday party every year?).

Since it is with the first baby that there is the most need, interested parties throw a baby shower to coordinate the celebrating and the giving, and to give a little back to the givers (who doesn't go for the food?).

As for future showers? Well, my sisters and I are throwing a shower for our other sister's second baby. She didn't ask for it, but we know that there are many who are wanting to assist the family at this time, so we're putting together a party for that to happen.

I guess it depends on if you would give a gift whether you go to the baby shower or not, whether you go to the reception or not, graduation party or not, etc.

Beary Bee said... Reply To This Comment

I vote you have a baby shower either way. There are always basic things that you need for a baby regardless of how far apart in age they are. Soooo yeah. Plus you know Brody would have a blast helping you open presents. lol

Beary Bee said... Reply To This Comment
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer said... Reply To This Comment

There is nothing wrong with having a baby shower for every kid even if you have all boys.

Are all future offspring after the first one supposed to live off of hand-me-downs for their entire babyhood? Just cause you had one kid doesn't mean you don't need more stuff.

And if they think having a second shower is milking people, they don't have to go.

Alexandria said... Reply To This Comment

I was just talking about this with someone. I always thought one had a baby shower with every baby. I think that is the way it should be! Boy/girl/2nd boy/2nd girl?! Showers for all!

I am crossing my fingers you get your sugar & spice little girl!
xoxo

Devin & Ruthann said... Reply To This Comment

That's how I feel about one of the girl names we picked out...we both liked it since before we were dating...but now we have another one we love and can't decide which one!!!

Karm said... Reply To This Comment

very good question! i wish i had asked this years ago, or just went with the flow. I was told that I could only have one baby shower... I have 4 sons- of course they were right after another, but aren't they each special enough to have their own baby shower? *sad face* I think you should have a baby shower, even if Brody gets a brother, but I am hoping you have your own lil baby girl (:

Alycia (Crowley Party) said... Reply To This Comment

I am happy you are keeping your blog 100% the same! (I know the credit card thing freaked you out! but I don't think your blog gives away too much)
Anyways... I have never had a baby, but in my opinion, I don't see why having a baby shower for each baby is bad! Each pregnancy is exciting! If people think it is "milking people" well they can just not come to the shower, or be cheaper on the gift. At the end of the day it isn't all about the gifts, it is about the celebration of a new child, and that I think every new baby deserves even if it is the second boy!

Kyla said... Reply To This Comment

I'm a stranger here, but I peek in every once in a while... anyhow, I have 2 kids, and my first was a girl and second a boy. I was lucky enough to have an awesome cousin give me tons of clothes, so I didn't feel so desperate about a shower. But my sweet friends threw me a diaper shower where everyone brought me diapers and other necessities you need (lotion, wipes...) It was great! I've only bought 3 packs of diapers and he is 4 months old! That's my 2 cents!

Lauren said... Reply To This Comment

Lol! Your comics have slayed me.
Ok... 2nd time baby showers. I'm good for anything if it involves cake. And I'm mostly like gonna get the person a present anyway so why not involve cake? Its all good.

Adrian said... Reply To This Comment

I think you should have a shower even if it is another boy because its not so much about getting the gifts as much as getting together with the people you love and all having fun together! And plus everyone still needs the necessities like diapers.

JED said... Reply To This Comment

Connie sweetie, everybody should shower or else they would stink...

But seriously, you should celebrate your baby, even if you wait until he or she is born. I think that important.

salena said... Reply To This Comment

I think it all depends on how the person having the baby feels. If you feel totally cool with it, then go for it! I'm sure everyone you invite's first thought wouldnt be "wow connie shouldnt be having another shower" i think they would probably be excited to go! So do whatever you want..who cares about rules! :)

Britney Jean said... Reply To This Comment

honestly, i had never thought about this until just now. and i think i have mixed feelings about it. but here's what i think i've come up with.

a baby shower isn't just about the gifts. it's also about celebrating. it's about letting the mother-to-be spend time with her friends and family--laughing, talking, discussing (all of which are needed during the emotional roller coaster time of pregnancy). So I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with having a shower for each kid. Yes, you have the majority of things. But let's face it. Babies are messy. You'll need a lot of new bibs, burp cloths, clothes, etc. because they are so stained and gross from the first time around. So even though you already have a high chair, bouncer, car seat, etc...you still need stuff. and it's fun. so i don't think there is anything wrong with it.

Anne said... Reply To This Comment

I have heard those complaints too, and I am completely on the pregnant ladies side (I did have a baby shower for each of my kids by the way.) I mean everything a prego lady goes through it is a nice way of ending the pregnancy. doesn't have to be alot of gifts but it is a way for that mom & baby to feel special too! PLUS it's not like they have to come or even have to bring a gift. The ladies that show up want to give a gift!

Rasha said... Reply To This Comment

I hope its a girl too! She will be so cute!

I dont think having a second baby shower is milking! My sister had one... its not about the gifts, but about the mother and the child being welcomed and cute things! Plus, why shouldnt this baby get treatment?

Melody said... Reply To This Comment

Each child deserves to be thought of through a shower for the mother and him/her. Years later they will all ask whether they had a shower thrown for their entrance into the world or not. Every person should be valued. Besides, I have never seen anyone walk away from a shower "rich" Rather, it is a time to laugh, get together with friends and celebrate the last of the pregancy before he/she comes! Love, Mother

Kathleen said... Reply To This Comment

I think you should definitely have a baby shower! It isn't to get new stuff, it's to celebrate that you're having a baby! Honestly, you could say that gifts aren't necessary so that people wouldn't feel obligated to bring them. Just have a party with the girls! Celebrate new life!

Brea said... Reply To This Comment

I hope you have a girl!!!!

About this whole baby shower thing, my mom has always told me that its proper to only have ONE shower no matter if you change sex or not. HOWEVER- I don't see why it's that big of a problem to have another shower. Honestly, just have a diaper shower! You know you'll need those! :) LOL

Tiffany Haynes said... Reply To This Comment

I think the general etiquette is to have one baby shower per sex unless there's been quite a big difference in age between the two. I would consider it milking it. I do know however how hard boys are on their clothes but still... I tend to give a gift whenever a baby is born cuz I know how fun it is to get a new outfit on your fifth kid. But whatever!

amy said... Reply To This Comment

I think you should absolutely have a second baby shower regardless of the sex of the baby! It's part of the fun and excitement of preparing for the baby!

I'm so surprised! I've never heard of it being "bad etiquette" before. It wouldn't be fair to the second baby, right? What if he or she wanted to see pictures of his or her baby shower one day?

Brittany said... Reply To This Comment

I think there should be a shower for the first boy and the first girl. After that, I would feel like i'm just taking advantage of people. Of course then there is that one pleasant suprise after 5 years of being "done" and you've given everything away then sure, ya, it's all cool to have one. I can see Tiffany's view on it being "etiquette" because if I was invited to a shower for baby girl #3 in 6 years, I would probably think "wow, this girl either likes the attention or really knows how to milk it!". For heavens sakes, isn't that what grandmas, aunts, and BFFs are for???

Brittany said... Reply To This Comment

*let me mention I am baby girl #5 and lived with girly hand-me-downs my ENTIRE life, never thinking I was less special than any of my other sisters.

Alexa Mae said... Reply To This Comment

I have heard that too! And have thought about what I would do with my next. My thing is, if you feel like having one. Have one! Those that care will come. Sometimes its not about gifts, its about celebrating the mother and her surviving pregnancy and welcoming a new baby into the world. I wouldn't think twice about someone having 5 baby showers or just one.

Kell said... Reply To This Comment

I don't see a problem in having another baby shower! If one of my friends had a baby shower for each of her's, I would go..because i just love buying stuff for babies. Besides, you'd probably score lots of diapers!

Tony said... Reply To This Comment

etiquette schmetiquette! who is even responsible for making up all these rules about what is good or bad etiquette?? give me a break, do whatever you want!

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