Wednesday, June 9, 2010

My opinion...

(DISCLAIMER... I wrote this BEFORE I posted the discussion.  So this isn't a response to anyone, just my own thoughts.  I loved what everyone had to say - but I was actually surprised to see so many people thought like I did! Course, if you think differently than me I still love you, everyone is different- I get that!) Here's how I feel about baby showers... It's kinda what I wish I would've said to those ladies rather than just... "yeah."  So don't be surprised if I get a little into it.  lol

What I thought was funny about my question to that lady was I used the phrase "milking people"- which, in MY opinion was a drastic exaggerated way to explain it- but she didn't even blink an eye before she agreed that it really WAS milking people!!  I do know of ONE person that's going to be milked- several times a day- but it's not the party guests, am I right!?  And personally, it would be nice to have a fresh spit-up rag when I do it.

What I think is- have two!  Have three!  Have a gillion!... a gillion.  Well, let me backup... everyones financial situation is different.  Everyones family and group of friends is different.  If you happen to fall in the category of a girl with family and friends that are as excited for this baby as you are, I say CELEBRATE IT!  Gifts are just a bonus.  Who ever decided it was rude or tacky to celebrate it- I think it's rude and tacky to say there's a rule against it!  But that's the big debate, unfortunately...
What are baby showers anyway?  Only A CELEBRATION OF LIFE and a party for this once-skinny-girl who made it through 9 long months of points and stares, sore backs and legs, painful sleeping arrangements, and having her once private hind-quarters become public property.   What I say is it's the last enjoyable shindig before she is shut indoors for fear of RSV- doing nothing but changing diapers, dealing with sore boobs, all the while trying to adjust to everything else that's new.

There are so many other expenses associated with a new baby, it's not like moms are rolling in a pile of money on their bed every night.... actually...  I'm going to roll in that pile of money on my bed and after my baby shower, throw my gifts on there and roll in that too- even add in a little bit of maniacal laughter.  Okay just kidding, let me back it down just a little...My first baby shower went a little like this:  9 people came and five of those were family members.  Or something like that.  I was relatively new to Arizona, didn't have many friends there yet, and was new to my church in that area.  Soooo... I didn't "rake it in" at all.  So you never know what people's showers were even like!

Even if you have everything you "need", I still don't see what's wrong with throwing a party for a new baby.  It's a BIG deal having another child.  And anyway it's like a "BIRTH-day" party.... I don't see people saying there's some kind of rule for birthday parties.  And I happen to know of kids that don't "need" more toys that get a whole new pile of them each year.  See my thinking?

But at any rate most young moms DON'T have everything they need... and it's no one's place to judge that they "aren't in need".  No one knows what kind of financial situation each person is in- even if she appears to "have it all".  Anydangway, I plan on having one per (even if it is a small family thing)... each child deserves a celebration!  No one has to buy me a gift, or even go- if they think I'm taking advantage of them.  Besides, to reiterate, it's really all about the fun and the gifts are just a perk.  And anyway my guests will get a little something too- only the time of their lives at my par-tay. ha ha(;

Maybe my pregnant brain shouldn't be explaining this though.... I almost poured water in my cereal this morning.

19 lovely comments:

Britney Jean said... Reply To This Comment

agreed. and well said. love it. :)

leigh ashley said... Reply To This Comment

i completely agree!

amy said... Reply To This Comment

completely in agreement!! :)

Marissa said... Reply To This Comment

I never thought about it like that. I agree with you!

Kell said... Reply To This Comment

Well said.. I definitely agree!

Alexis Crum said... Reply To This Comment

I am laughing. Love this post. I can feel your power behind it. And I completely agree. Those mamas deserve everything and more for bringing a new baby into the world. And who doesnt like free food?! :)

Bree and Bryce said... Reply To This Comment

I love this. I never really thought about the subject, but you bring up some great points and I think you should have the baby shower of the century!

Eeny said... Reply To This Comment

I agree too... go ahead, throw a party, celebrate motherhood, welcome the new little one to this world, have fun =)

cris (cristal) said... Reply To This Comment

dont stress out hun not gud for the baby or you.

-cris

Alexandria said... Reply To This Comment

My thoughts exactly! Celebrate it mama to be!

Jamie said... Reply To This Comment

Ya know...I never really looked at it like that but you prove a good point! You've changed my thinking! :)

Jennifer said... Reply To This Comment

I agree! Each new baby is a gift and should be celebrated!

salena said... Reply To This Comment

shower as many times as you want girl! :)

Karm said... Reply To This Comment

i think you thoughts on it are perfect. baby showers are to celebrate a new life (:

Natalie said... Reply To This Comment

Haha I just had flashbacks to the Friends episode when Monica and Rachel threw Phoebe a baby shower and gave her things she could use after she was pregnant, since she was carrying babies for someone else. LOL

JED said... Reply To This Comment

Maybe this is not an appropriate comment, but it seems like i am the only man who responds to your blog...

Can I come to your shower? Do you give door prizes?

Seriously, I love those stores that allow you to put together a wish list for people to buy from. Like Amazon. Not that anyone would buy me a father's day present from mine...

crissy said... Reply To This Comment

I had one shower with my first. I wanted to have one for my second, but it didn't happen. And I probably won't get one for this baby, see as he/she is a week over due and could be here any day. (That's just not enough time to plan a shin-dig...)
I didn't want a shower with my second so that I could be "showered" with gifts, because I already felt like I had most of what I needed. I wanted to have one with my second, because I wanted to, as you said, celebrate new life. But, since I was the only person who really wanted it/the only person attempting to plan it, it didn't happen. It really bums me out that #2 and now #3 won't have these awesome pre-birth celebrations. But that's just the problem, it seems like (at least with those who I know) showers for later children are taboo, unless you are having a baby of a different gender than your first. (Which is what I did have, we just didn't know until the birth.)
So, pretty much what I'm trying to say with this novel is that I agree with you about showers. They are a way to celebrate life, and what's the big deal if you have them for each child?
Seriously, why is it socially acceptable to have multiple showers for your first, but not even one for your 2nd/3rd/4th/etc.? It seems so silly.

Lecia said... Reply To This Comment

For some reason I have had someone throw me a shower for each of my 4 kids (2 boys and 2 girls) and to be honest, by the 4th I was a little embarrassed about it, I would have preferred NOT to have another shower by then.

Of course, unless the mom-to-be plans to throw her own shower, she's going to have to depend on what her family and friends think, because they are the ones who (hopefully) will be offering to host it.

Connie said... Reply To This Comment

Haha! That's true Lecia- my mom is always for it, so it wouldn't be hard to tell her no thanks... actually, I wouldn't have a hard time telling ANYONE no thanks if they offered and I didn't want one. I have considered maybe not wanting one down the road but as long as it's more of a celebration, and less of a "showering of gifts" I'd be happy with it still, I think. But as for throwing my own "shower" I wouldn't dream of it! It's like planning your own surprise party... kind of weird. (;