Saturday, August 15, 2009

{tmi} for you

This is nothing anyone really needs to know but I'm random and bored.

Picture11 I buy cheap rings that turn my fingers green.

I HATE mayonnaise and anything made with mayonnaise. I even hate the word mayonnaise… esp mayo. eww

I got my pants pulled down in 1st grade and got a referral for it… the kid who DID IT didn’t even get a referral! What the freak!

Tony is not a fan of my driving… but unlike him, I have never gotten in an accident OR a ticket! Thankyaverymuch!

Story time childrens...ok three{3}

In junior high I had to walk all 18 miles home from school practically every day. But one time, I was instead offered a ride! Super! So as I'm enjoying the wind blowing my hair around, thinking how thankful I was that I didn't have to walk, the dude in the front seat hocks one out the window. Unsurprisingly enough to me, I was pelted in the face with his disgusting saliva-slash-snot.

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When I went into labor with Brody {ok, duh. he's my only kid} ...anyway, rather than just make it to the hospital in one clean piece, our new car gets trashed by a flying piece of sheet rock, about the size of our windshield. I wanted to say something to the hubs since I saw it coming but was in the middle of a pleasant contraction. Once we got to the hospital, I tried to check out the car to see the damage but Tony laughed and shoved me through the doors since it was neither the time nor the place to concern myself with our smashed automobile. I disagree.

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Ok, it wasn't that bad.

This one is my favorite. I decided to show my husband how sporty spice I am by playing catch with him. He lobbed the softball high into the air and I reached up, so focused, on catching it and impressing him. Yeah, I caught it. WITH MY EYE! If you've ever seen a cartoon of someone getting hit in the head and you see the gigantic bump grow instantly, you should know, that's an accurate portrayal of how it happens. My eyebrow was the size of the softball by the time he made it over to me. For a few weeks I was lookin a lot like this guy...quazziTo make matters even more pleasant, they asked me to lead the music in church my first Sunday there. Thanks a lot, lady. Do you not realize I'm completely mutilated!

That is all.

Good day. I said good day, bloggers!

17 lovely comments:

robynxx said... Reply To This Comment

Lawl, nice post!

And I also buy cheap rings that make my fingers green. What else can I do? I seem to be permanently broke! Haha.

Austin and Ashtyn said... Reply To This Comment

haha I love your writing, you crack me up! And you poor thing, bad luck... getting spit on, your Car on the way to the hospital, (like its not enough your pushing a bowling ball out) Loved the stories!

Anonymous said... Reply To This Comment

I can't believe I have never heard most of these stories (yes, I do remember the softball one)! Poor kid, life has a way of humbling us all---it sounds like in High School there was a good reason for making you walk the 18 miles home! By the way, it does seem forever and a day to walk home from there. The eighteen miles exaggeration made me mapquest it. To our house, it was a mere 4 miles, and to Grandma's a mere 5. At a 15 mile per hour pace, it would only take you an hour to walk home to the house. (I should have made you to school from Seminary as well!) You only would have experienced Lock out EVERYDAY! Love, Mother

Katie said... Reply To This Comment

This whole post made me laugh. But the last part sounds really painful! Ouch!! Whatever, I bet you made quasi-motto look fine. ;) (I have no idea how to spell that correctly. Forgive me.)

Sara Crandall said... Reply To This Comment

too funny and ew gross the walking story...don't even want to think about it anymore! I hate mayo too! and mustard! and salad dressings (although I am venturing out a tad with ranch).

shirley elizabeth said... Reply To This Comment

Okay three things (I swear, we've lived the same life, minus having a kid)- I can't stand mayo either. I don't even like ranch because it's full of it and you can totally taste it. Blech.
And the loogie story - oh gee this makes me gag so much. In elementary school riding the bus home the kids a couple seats in front of me were spittin snot out the window and in it flies right in my face/mouth area. I still gag thinking about it.
And ha, trying to play catch with a guy I was dating and caught it with my nose. Blood all over my sister's white jacket. I just left and drove home.

Will you guys be at the Alldredge reception tonight?

Brittany said... Reply To This Comment

Love the stories, those are awesome haha. Sooo glad your back home. We need to begin our intense hiking now that you live across the street from a MAJORLY GIGANTIC MOUNTAIN (sense the sarcasm? we're gonna get so buff haha). Thanks for bringing Brody to get shaved ice the other day. I should have been more proactive when that guy was flirting with me THROUGH Brody. hahahaha! I thought it was supposed to work the other way around, but whatev! :)

Britney Jean said... Reply To This Comment

i love the random connie facts and your funny stories.

swollen eyes = no fun

and

a boy once SNEEZED in my face during math class in the 7th grade. he was mortified. i was disgusted. how does that even happen?

p.s. -- we ended up becoming best friends.

Kellen and Erin Hansen said... Reply To This Comment

These are so funny! The first grad story for some reason really made m laugh. Maybe because I can't pictures you getting in trouble in school and then to be the victim of something like that is just....funny. Thanks for the laughs!

Tony said... Reply To This Comment

Its 11pm on Saturday and i just got home from Oklahoma! Melody, 15 mph is really fast! Thats like sprinting....fast! Also, connie does like ranch which has mayo in it! And Connie, i guess we learned our lesson about playing sports on Sunday!

Connie said... Reply To This Comment

I don't mind ranch at Texas Roadhouse but I don't "like" it. Thanks for making a liar out of me Tony. lol

JED said... Reply To This Comment

You forgot to mention that it was uphill in six feet of snow when you walked home. Someone out there would be gullible enough to believe you.

I do believe you got in trouble for what someone else did. Teachers are idiots, and I should know since I used to be one. I always told my class that it is the kid who reacts who gets into trouble, not the kid who acted first. If you think about it, it makes sense, because by the time the teacher knows something happened, it is usually after the victim reacted.

I hate teaching...

Whitney said... Reply To This Comment

I love learning about you. Um the spit thing... NASTY! I never experience the car ride to the hospital while having contractions. The joys of being induced. BUT I can only imagine. Did you turn Tony in for being abusive? I would. Sounds like trouble to me. Ha ha. OH and IM sorry about your LONG trek home from school. I had to walk a measly 1/2 mile... if even that.

Lauren said... Reply To This Comment

I said good day! That is soooo Fez! I love you even more now for saying that!!
Funny post!! Have a good day :)

Tony said... Reply To This Comment

Whitney...yea, right when that happened was when we had just gotten married and moved into a new ward. Needless to say there were some awkward looks towards me in the hallway from some members and a few jokingly asked (but were probably serious too) "is everything ok at home? heh heh?"

Natalie said... Reply To This Comment

connnnnnnnnieeeeeeeeeeee i love youuuuuu. craft days soooon. jfeklwa. i can't wait.

i'm not a mayona-however-you-spell-it fan.

simple rule: if you can't spell it, don't eat it.

The One Who Bakes At Midnight said... Reply To This Comment

Um Hi. You are Hysterical. And I loved your post on Lauren's.

Consider yourself added to my google reader. :)